So last night I was riding through the Swindon traffic, low speed urban filtering stuff.

As I approached a set of lights, I saw a police patrol car (not traffic) in my mirrors with its blue lights on. I pulled over to let it past.

The car stopped, and the driver says to me "Pull over. And don't try to get away." This made me chuckle. Anyway, I pulled over and three armoured cops pile out of the car and put themselves about 6 inches away from me - in the "invade the suspect's space, make sure you are in control of the situation" way that they are trained to do.

One of them asks "any reason?" and I ask reason for what. It turns out he wants to know the reason I was standing on my footpegs.

I tell him that there are actually several, and go on to list them in order:

1. It considerably lowers the centre of gravity of the motorcycle, which massively improves the stability, manoueverability and control, adding to my filtering safety;


2. Rapid changes of direction (e.g. in response to a car in front unexpectedly changing lanes) are safer and more controlled;


3. My visibility ahead is much much more, since I can see over the tops of cars in front, and I have more time to identify and deal with developing hazards;


4. My visibility behind is improved, since I can turn my head further round for "lifesavers" and obtain much more information about the traffic situation behind me;


5. I make myself a "bigger" in the eyes of other road users, particularly car drivers, and increase my visibility

I leave out the one that says "I am doing Dakar in 2009, and being on my pegs is good practice", since I figure that this will take me out of Kansas and straight into piss-take territory.

I go on to ask him if there could possibly be any other reason for doing it, I mean it's obvious surely?

He looks at the other two cops. They look back at him. They are all looking at eachother wondering if I am taking the piss, or if this is a reasonable explanation. It dawns on me that Physics may not be something that they spend a lot of time teaching cops these days.

Anyway, it turns out that two of them are rookies and the other guy is more experienced. One of the rookies asks "Can I do the vehicle check?". The other one asks "Can I do the producer?". I then wait whilst he follows his instruction manual for writing out a producer. We chat, he's actually a really nice guy - only a few weeks out of training and really enjoying the job.

Meanwhile, the experienced officer is on his radio asking his Seargeant if I was doing anything illegal. the Seargeant checks with the Inspector, who checks with the traffic unit and nobody can identify any law that was being broken.

I am told that I am very lucky they are letting me off with a warning this time, but if they catch me doing it again then I will be getting charged. I ask "with what?". The rookie looks at the experienced cop who tells me that I "just will".

I tell him that I have no wish to be a law-breaker and, to make sure that I abide by the law, please could he explain to me what the law is regarding footpegs so that I can make sure I am in full compliance. I explain that we live in a country where anything not specifically listed as criminal is legal, and that something unusual (being on your pegs) is not the same as something illegal. The law is written down for a reason and, as far as I knew, there wasn't yet a law saying "anything a Policeman doesn't like the look of is illegal".

The producer all done, and the rookies all now trained up in dealing with dangerous criminals, I am sent on my way. I go to the bike (still on its stand), climb on it and stand on the footpegs (not moving anywhere). I turn round and grin and give them a wave - only joking.

I wasn't being cheeky, I really genuinely wanted to know which law was being broken - The Missus and I have discussed it before (or, more accurately, she has given me earache about me being on my pegs on the road and I have insisted that I am not breaking any law by doing so).

The whole process took about 20 minutes start to finish. Three cops. One danger-to-the-public biker. Twenty minutes. It took something in the order of 3 minutes for Madge to be nicked from my driveway in broad daylight and stuffed into a van of some description. Something is not right.

Since my main objective on a bike is to make it home in one piece, I take whatever steps I can to make this more likely - this includes such things as wearing hi-viz jackets (blogs passim), a white helmet with blue & white checks on it and - in traffic or at very low speeds - standing on my pegs for extra stability.

So today I called up the Wiltshire Traffic Unit. They tell me that standing on my pegs is a moving traffic offence, but were unable to say which offence it actually was or what would appear on a citation.

I tried the CPS, who point-blank refused to say anything about whether or not it was an offence.

I trawled through http://www.opsi.gov.uk/ - where all of the UK legislation is published - and can find absolutely nothing about it. I called the Department of Transport, and spoke to the Think! Roady Safety guys who, guess what, couldn't say whether or not this was an offence.

I could just accept that the cops don't like the look of it, for whatever reason, and not do it. That's one option. This makes me more vulnerable on the road in traffic, and makes the bike less stable at low speed - which is the speed you're doing when filtering through heavy traffic. So I'm not comfortable doing that.

I've always been a bit of an omnipotent little sod but I do what I can to stay within the law - especially road traffic law. I regularly bore The Missus to tears by pointing out why such-and-such a speed limit is unenforceable because the signs are too far apart and the like - I like Road Traffic Law and, not so long ago, wanted to be a Traffic Cop (blogs futuro). I take an interest in road signs and how nothing happens for nothing (blogs passim).

Here's a road sign I found particularly amusing (sent to me by my ageing friend):



When I was explaining to the Wee Yin that Madge had been stolen and that nobody had seen anything, she suggested asking the neighbours if they had seen a burglar with a stripey jumper and a mask. Aw, bless.

It's a fair point though. I was up on my pegs, therefore I am a criminal because I, em, look like I am doing something criminal. The guys who stole Madge probably turned up with overalls and a clipboard and knocked on the door - anybody watching would've thought they were only doing something that they were asked to do. We look in the wrong places for our crooks.

This is one of those lovely little gaps in the Law that probably needs to see the inside of a court before it is decided. I had a similar question last year about reflective tape, and no-one was able to answer it. I had one good piece of advice from a traffic cop though - "If we don't like the look of it, we'll find something to do you for, otherwise you'll be OK".

Download the Manic Mission Information Pack for the full story ...