Spoke to Martin yesterday about the AJP action day, the 260cc AJP PR3 and my rather noisy PR4 (the one with the timing problem).

Martin thought that the smart thing to do was just get it on Ebay, noisy rattle and all. Yesterday, when I spoke to him, I thought it was a good idea too.

This morning, I woke up with other ideas. I was going to fix that rattle, I decided. I mean, how hard can it be? I have the service manual for the XR200 (courtesy of the Nutty Guy from Bolton). I have been working on my knowledge of how engines work. I have sockets, spanners and a crap dog to help me. What could possibly go wrong?

Within a short space of time, two bikes were on the driveway and the dismantlng commenced. The bonus of having two bikes is that you can use one of them as a "this is how it should look" reference when you get stuck.

I decided that I needed to get the engine out of the frame. Out came the sockets and spanners, and all kinds of unscrewing was going on. I even put all of the bolts in little seed trays - these ones are the carburettor bolts, these ones are the engine mounting bolts - stuff like that.

It started to get a bit overcooked when I realised that I had disconnected the singwarm (the bit that holds the back wheel on) and the back wheel fell off. Hmmm.

I've got two choices here. Start to put everything back together - the responsible thing to do - or keep going. I decide against the responsible thing. That wouldn't be fun. Back comes the spanners and sockets - that cylinder head is claimed.

Warning number 2 came when I realised that Martin had possibly over-simplifed the engine removal process. Here's Martin's instructions for removing an engine:

"Put the bike on its side, remove thse four bolts, lift the bike up and the engine stays on the floor. You'll be fine".

My experience differed a little. First, there was about 8 million bolts instead of four. Second, I had to lift the engine and move it around to get it out. Then there's the exhaust, the carb, all kinds of wires and hoses. Maybe he miscounted or something. This is some new interpretation of the word "Fine" that I have not encountered before.

The Missus came out to see how I was doing. She didn't twig that the bike was on the floor, and didn't make a bang as it landed. Which means that it didn't fall. Which means that I let it down gently. Which means that I held the weight. "No lifting", the doctor said. He didn't say "and no taking the weight of bikes as you lay them to the floor". If he did, I would have listened - honest.

I called my ageing friend to say that I needed help moving this engine. He asked if it could wait until tomorrow, since he was busy with Missus Ageing Friend. He obviously does not know me. This is not a tomorrow problem. So we lift the engine all by ourselves.

So out came the engine. I was well excited by now. Anything that looked remotely like a bolt was getting unscrewed. Whee!!!!

Warning number 3 came when I removed the crankcase cover, and a whole bunch of cogs and springs fell on the floor, leaving no trace of where they had come from. I think I got them back right. I hope so. They all seemed to fit anyway.

Everybody on the ThumperTalk forums warns against removing the cam chain. "It will pop off and disappear into the crankcase" they tell me. They advise using a piece of wire to hold it in place, otherwise it's a nightmare trying to fetch it out again.

Since I knew this in advance, I was not going to be caught out by it, oh no. I had my wire on standby. I was prepared. I was ready. I hooked the wire round the cam chain, undid the bolt. The cam chain promptly disappeared into the crankcase. The wire then only became useful for fishing it out again.

Our neighbours, over the road, are selling their house. Up pulled an estate agent with a young couple for a viewing. They had to pull up right then, didn't they? They got out their car to the wonderful background music of me swearing at the cam chain, two hooligan offroad bikes on the driveway - one in bits. It was a short viewing. Honestly, I'm not like this normally.

It was then that I saw my first camshaft. My first ever camshaft. A thing of beauty, all covered in oil. I took it out of the cylinder head and just kind of marvelled at it. To the untrained eye, it's just a steel rod with some knobbly bits on it. To me, it was an engineering marvel. Without this 4-inch piece of knobbly steel, the bike won't work. I have to give it due respect and make sure I can get it back in again, the right way.

Then I did what I came here for - move the timing chain round a couple of notches to remove the rattle. I have no idea if I got it right, I just consider it a miracle if I can get all this back together again.

I start to reassemble the bike and it's all going well. I put the gearshift lever back on again, and realise the I don't have 3rd, 4th or 5th gears - the whole thing seizes up. Since it's dark by now, it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

In my book, I've done pretty well. I've only got about 2 bolts that I don't know whether they came from, and everything is back together again except the swingarm. This, believe it or not, is a result.

I commented to The Missus that I need to be able to do that same job in less than an hour, and to be able to do it using only the tools that I have in my BumBag. And that, right there, is a reason for not selling this bike - it's my practice bike. My mechanic training bike.

It is also my mission to make her run again as well as she used to. Ebay can wait. Madge, we will ride again.

I learned an awful lot today. I learned about how the fuel system, lubrication system and suspension all fit together. I learned that I have a lot to learn. I learned about patience. I learned that cam chains like to disappear into the crankcase.

There is no manual, book or training course that will teach me how to fix my own bike - it can only come from experience. As Martin would say, "Yeah, that one".

Why is it such a big deal? The main reason is the long stages on Dakar, and races like Dakar. If your bike stops working, then you need to be able to do something with it. Cyril Despres is not only a great rider, he's also a great engineer. I need to be able to fix my own bike in the middle of nowhere if I am to have any hope at all.

I still have to put the swingarm back on, and I need to try and figure out what this gear-lever sticking is all about.

Other than that, I'm chalking this one up as "a successful day". Maybe I'll even get the bike working too.



Before you go all tut-tutting at my recklessness, consider the alternatives. How am I to figure out how to fix and maintain a bike unless I take one to bits? How can I build a rally bike without knowing what all the moving parts are? You can't ride in long-distance rallies like Dakar unless you know how to use a spanner, and you certainly don't want to learn how to do it whilst the clock is ticking and you're in danger of being booted out of the race.



The high point has to be the Optic 2000 though. I've been egging Martin on to do it and met with a fairly flat "no" every time. Yesterday though, we had a "let's talk through the options at the action day in the 16th".



If you still have no clue what offroad biking is all about, how it is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, book an action day. You don't need a licence, or any experience at all, and you'll see for yourself what it's all about.



And I promise that I won't have done any maintenance on the bike you're riding. So, em, "you'll be fine".

Download the Manic Mission Information Pack for the full story ...