I wanted to share this moment with you. You may well think "yes, and?", so please bear with me.

About 5 years ago now, I had an idea. It was a great idea. I'm always having great ideas. OK, so I've had a couple of bad ones too - custard-filled speed bumps was one such bad one - but ideas have friends and should be nurtured.

Anyway, I had this idea. I saw, time and time again, that money was just being thrown down the toilet on the same old things. And, when I say time and time again, I mean it. In case you hadn't guessed, this is a computer thing. Specifically, it's a software thing. If you've ever wondered why there are so many fiascos in the newspapers - Passports, the Health Service - it mostly comes down to two things.

One of these things you've heard me bleat about before - the Plan. Once the Plan is made, it never gets un-made. The logic of "one woman, one baby, takes 9 months. Let's get two women and do it in 4 and a half months". That one.

The other one is, quite simply, being able to check that things are plugged in. Nobody does it, and I don't know why. They spend millions of pounds on doing stuff, and nobody bothers to check whether or not it's plugged in.

So, I had this idea. This idea for a little thing which my Da calls a "gizmo", that will tell people whether or not stuff is plugged in. It's sort of like a light bulb - if it lights up, then obviously it's plugged in. If it doesn't light up, check the switch on the plug.

This idea was elusive, and I kept on chasing it. She didn't want to be caught though. Time after time, just when I thought I had her, she skipped off into the mist. I became obsessed with this idea - and hunted her even harder than before. I found a couple of companies who wanted to pay money for this idea. I took the money, and hunted her all the harder. I hunted so hard that I was working day and night and everything inbetween. But still she eluded me. Still the companies paid up, since halfway was good enough for them. But not for me. I kept hunting.

I didn't notice me becoming unwell, it crept up on me and took me by surprise in the same way as sleep does - you don't know you've fallen asleep until you wake up. It was a long way down, and I didn't feel myself falling. It was only when I realised I was in a mental hospital - completely out of my face on whatever medication they had given me - that I thought that perhaps things weren't quite going to plan.

So, I've been in a bit of a dark place recently. You know this. What you didn't know is that this dark place has taken me away from the world and into my computer. It's part therapy, part mission. The therapy side is that I can make computers do anything I want them to do. The mission side is that this little will-o-the-wisp, this idea, is still dancing around just beyond my fingertips.

Until today. Today, I nailed her. Got her bang between the eyes. Five years of hunting, searching, frantically typing away, and I have finally created the thing of great beauty that had always eluded me. If I had had this 6 months ago, then the Global Bank would have been a complete walkover. Apart from Phil, whose mind was made up.

And, speaking of Phil, I am going to lobby my MP. I think that a law should be passed which makes it mandatory for sports cars to have big numbers on the side stating the driver's penis size.

And, speaking of the Global Bank, the call came - of sorts. It was half of the call I was expecting - the "we need help" part, but it was lacking in the "this is how much we'll pay" part. So I was half-right.

If I can do this right, if I can figure out the right steps, then I won't need to worry about how to fund my Dakar. Normally, that is where Chief would come in but he's got other fish to fry at the moment so this one falls down to me and my gangly friend.

But I wanted to share this moment with you. Today was the day that I caught that little minx.

I am out tomorrow with Martin and, tell you what, I am so looking forward to it. I don't know if it's the riding, the fact that Martin is a nice guy, the meeting new people, the having a laugh or if it's just the fact that I get to escape from everything for a few blissful hours. I don't know and I don't much want to analyse it too much. It is my time to be me, warts and all, and be in the company of people who take me as they find me. It is my chance to laugh at myself, and not take myself too seriously.

My ITM is off to Scotland this weekend, on a "business trip" on his bike doing a grand tour. Gentleman that he is, he did invite me, but I do not have a road bike and couldn't go. Apparently, he went to look at a KTM 250 4-stroke and "thought about it". For about 4 seconds, before he bought it and rode the orange monster home. Cockle is going to have a bit of a problem keeping up with that little beast.

I have a funny feeling that tomorrow will involve hills. Don't ask me why.

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