First, let me say something about Blind Pew.

In Robert Louis Stevenson's book, Treasure Island, there was a character called Blind Pew. Now, Treasure Island is the most dramatised novel ever and is the one which all causes us to think of pirates as having one eye, one leg and a parrot on their shoulder.

Blind Pew was somebody you just did not want to meet. He was blind, funnily enough, and was an ex-pirate. His main job was to bestow the Black Spot onto people. When Pew gave you the blind spot, then that was it - you'd had it.

So, anyway, I had a great time in Dublin. Met some lovely people. Rode some lovely bikes. Including my ITM's Yamaha WR 250. It had such a wonderful clutch on it. So strong it was. At least, that's before Blind Pew here put the black spot on it. After only a few hours of my, em, "technique", the clutch decided to commit a bit of clutch suicide at the TORC enduro on Sunday - complete with my ITM on board halfway through a race.

There's some debate going about whether I actually did put the black spot on his clutch, or whather it was Fate herself who did it after the great bit of ITM hubris that was going on about my clutch packing in. We will probably never know.

Tomorrow evening, there is what we will call the Cowshit Rematch. Up at Deepcut Barracks in Surrey, there's a little race being run called Tea Till Dusk. It's put on by the Army, and attracts a lot of good riders to it. It starts at 6, finishes around 8:30, and all proceeds go to charity.

The guy who set up the course - a guy called Darren - is an Army PT instructor. When I spoke to him today, he described the course as "hard". Me made it that way to stop any motocross hooligans from getting too much speed up. Oh, and it's got the biggest hill climb you ever saw in your life.

I considered the hill climb:

"Do we have to go down it as well?" (please say no, please say no, please say no)

"No, that was last year. Too many injuries, so we're going up it this year"

So then it occurred to me. A very technically difficult course with no MX sections and no cowshit. And Army timekeepers - so no phantom laps. There was only 1 thing to do - get right on the phone to Martin and start winding him up:

"Your feeble Husaberg Jedi skills are no match for the power of the PR3 Dark Side"

Much chuckling and "we'll see". My start time is one minute before him. He sends me an email later in the afternoon:

"if you're in front, then you'd be better be sure to get outta the way, cos i'll be coming"

I am fine-tuning my cowshit avoidance radar, since the technical nature of this race may well give me an advantage over the Husaberg juggernaut that Martin is riding.

Which gave me a problem for work. Since the race is ony a few miles away from where I work, then I'll take the bike with me. But where to park? I don't want to leave a bike outside all day. Quick phone call to the security guys, and it turns out that there is an underground car park with 6 spaces in it for Very Important People. Tomorrow, I can be one of those Very Important People so my bike doesn't get nicked they tell me.

Me and my uprated clutch are number 133, which Wikipedia tells me is a happy number.

I got another email from Martin not very long ago:

"Before we start, I'd better get some excuses in right away, I have a terrible cold, and quite bad buttock and arm brusing from Sunday, also I have water loss problem (from the bike, that is).

These are to be used in the unlikely event that you beat me.

Also, you'll have a minutes head start."

He knows. It's only a matter of time. Maybe I'll finally get to deliver my favourite ever Star Wars line ever:

"Your powers are weak old man"

Response from the council about that Byway they shut. Apparently, it's a "voluntary closure" but they can't explain to me what that means. Nor can they explain to me when it will be open again. Going to do some digging into this one because my understanding of CRoW (Countryside and Rights of Way Act) is that if they can't tell you when it's open again then it shouldn't be closed - closure for indefinite periods of time are illegal. Will keep you posted.

ITM-ess and Cockle went to see my ITM at the TORC enduro on Sunday. The hooliganism of the experts has still not waned Cockle's enthusiasm, and he still wants to be an enduro nut. ITM-ess loved the atmosphere and the friendliness and they both had an absolute ball. They're too polite to mention that I am Chief Suspect in their clutch murder investigation ...

A word of warning, do not watch this if you are a BMW rider:

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